So I'm on my 3rd published contract now, thanks to M, who has had more of an influence on my life in Dubai than she realizes. Being recognized as a professional does wonders for the self esteem, and does it's fair share of legitimization and validation as well. Is it all becoming worth it? I think so. Getting paid and seeing my work in print is like discovering a new element...me.

This is hopefully, if they choose to make it so, the cover.

Neon Star Signs

Normally - I don't put much stock in the stars. But I will admit - there are some things about my sign that ring absolutely true...almost uncanny. Actually, look up Virgo anywhere and it pretty much describes me to a freakin "T". Daily horrors though, I usually scoff. Today, however, something caught me - my horror says "Let frivolous friendships fall away while nurturing those that truly matter."

Wow. That is exactly what I have been worrying over for the past few months. Losing friends, wondering if I could or should have done anything different....but now I know. It's OK. The people who walk in and out of your life like a swinging door are just like episodes of a TV sitcom. You watch, have a few laughs, roll your eyes at the silly ending and the bad acting then move on to next week's episode. True friends are like favorite movies. You watch them over and over again, each time discovering some new snippet you missed before and still laughing and crying at all the good parts.

Let the frivolous go. Concentrate on the good stuff.

I like that.

I think I will.

It's a proof.

Another one bites the dust. What is this new phenomenon where a certain segment of my friend pool degenerates into a muddy puddle of bitchiness? I can't stand having to be the man here - I thought females were the ones who usually throw hypersensitive titty-baby hissy fits? I've lost my patience since I hit 30 - Sigh - another excercise in deletion. I think I'll just start sticking with the fish.

Don't ever assume
anything about anyone.

It's not your place.

Either ask questions
and listen to the
answers,

or

keep your
fat
mouth
shut.

A star
with no eyes
feels its way
across the vast
beyond
living without
care and
conforming to
unseen shapes
while I
with three ways
to see
stumble
fall
and crawl
my way
across my
sheltered life
as if
I were
completely blind.

I was privileged last night to be in audience of one of the best Spanish Guitarists in the world. It was a perfect venue, and our seats were close to the front. It was a bit warm, but it is Barcelona after all, and beauty overcomes the heat. However, all was forgotten when Manuel began to play. Uncomfortable fanning and coughing made way to sudden and complete hypnotism, only broken by the last chord and triumphiant stand and bow at the end of each magnificent piece. 1.5 hours and 3 encores later, I was still hearing the music on the walk back to Ramblas. Today, it is still in my mind - a good sign....

Travelling - what a rush and a crippling effect all at once. I was in Malta for 10 days - went to visit a good friend, and ended up severing this friendship with the speed and swiftness of a slamming door.

THERE - I'm done with you and everything that makes you YOU.

Been doing alot of that lately, and it's actually making me feel strong. I am not sorry - for I did nothing wrong - and it feels marvelous to let balloons fly off into the wind and not turn back.

I am in Barcelona now. What an amazing city. Inspiration is so thick I can breathe it...